🧠 INNER WORLDS — TEEN EDITION

When Your Friends’ “Jokes” Don’t Feel Like Jokes

How to spot put-down humor, hidden disrespect, and people who laugh at your expense.

Most teens have that one friend — or whole group — who “jokes around” in ways that feel… off.

They tease you.
They roast you.
They point out your flaws.
They comment on your body, your clothes, your grades, your past, your insecurities.

And when you react, they say things like:

• “Relax.”
• “It’s just a joke.”
• “You’re too sensitive.”
• “We always joke like this.”
• “Don’t make it weird.”

Here’s the truth:

If it hurts, it’s not a joke.

Jokes are supposed to make everyone laugh — not just the person telling them.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on.

⭐ 1. “Jokes” That Target You Aren’t Harmless

There’s a huge difference between friends who:

• tease everyone equally
• and friends who consistently aim their humor at you

If someone always picks your insecurities, your mistakes, your body, your family, or your personality as their punchline, it’s not humor.

It’s a pattern.

And patterns tell the truth.

⭐ 2. Mean Humor Is Often a Cover for:

• jealousy
• insecurity
• wanting control
• social power games
• low-key resentment
• “I’m threatened by you” energy

People who feel small often make others small to feel bigger.

It doesn’t excuse it — but it explains it.

⭐ 3. The “It’s Just a Joke” Defense Is a Red Flag

Healthy friends say:

• “Oh, did that go too far?”
• “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
• “My bad, I won’t joke about that again.”

Unhealthy friends say:

• “You’re overreacting.”
• “Why are you being weird?”
• “You can’t take a joke.”

Translation:

“I want to say hurtful things without consequences.”

If someone hides behind “just joking,”
that usually means they meant the rude part and don’t want to take responsibility.

⭐ 4. There Are Different Kinds of Humor — Not All Are Healthy

Safe Humor:

• everyone laughs
• everyone feels included
• nobody feels exposed

Targeted Humor:

• someone becomes the punchline
• inside jokes turn into weapons
• weaknesses are spotlighted

Passive-Aggressive Humor:

“Funny” comments with:

• hidden irritation
• annoyance
• low-key aggression
• actual opinions disguised as humor

If you feel confused instead of amused,
the joke wasn’t a joke.

⭐ 5. You’re Not “Sensitive” for Not Liking Cruelty

There’s a difference between sensitivity and self-respect.

You’re allowed to say:

• “Don’t joke about that.”
• “That crossed a line.”
• “That didn’t feel funny to me.”

Healthy friends adjust.
Unhealthy friends double down.

Your reaction tells you everything you need to know about their character.

⭐ 6. A Good Friend Doesn’t Protect the Joke — They Protect the Friendship

Simple rule:

**If someone cares more about laughing at you

than keeping your trust…
that’s not a friend.**

Friends tease.
But friends also care.

If they don’t care about how it lands, they’re not joking — they’re testing what they can get away with.

⭐ 7. How to Pull Back Without Drama

You don’t need a confrontation.
You don’t need to fight.
You don’t need to “teach them a lesson.”

Just change your access:

• respond less
• share less personal stuff
• make your circle smaller
• hang with people who make you feel safe
• stop laughing at jokes that hurt

You don’t owe explanations for protecting your peace.

⭐ 8. Questions to Ask Yourself

• Do I feel relaxed or tense around them?
• Do I trust them with my insecurities?
• Do I leave the hangout feeling drained or uplifted?
• Do they apologize when they hurt me?
• Do they joke with me — or at me?

Your body knows before your brain does.

Listen to it.

⭐ Final Truth

You deserve friendships where you feel:

• respected
• supported
• safe
• uplifted
• understood

Not friendships where you have to secretly wonder
if the laughter is actually about you.

A real friend doesn’t make you pay for connection with humiliation.

Remember:

**Good humor includes you.

Bad humor exposes you.**

Choose the friends who laugh with you —
not the ones who make you smaller to feel big.